Write with the door closed
When to share your writing (and when to keep it to yourself)
Hello writing friends, it’s Bec here
I’m emerging from an intense period of writing. Over the past few weeks, I’ve cycled through all the stages of creativity from an initial idea to incubation, drafting, and editing. Every stage has been marked by its own breakthroughs and blocks; some of which I worked through alone and others I shared with writing friends.
Closing the door to write
Some parts of the creative process you simply have to figure out on your own. Whatever you write, you need to have a point of view or a story to tell.
“The art of writing is the art of discovering what you believe.”
- Gustave Flaubert
Translating the ideas in my head into words on the page forces me to confront what I don’t know. When I begin writing, the gaps in both my knowledge and ability are exposed. That feels difficult. It takes time and effort, and it’s why I procrastinate and avoid writing.
But if I stick with the writing, the process of working through ideas enables me to understand what I am trying to say. I need to do this stage alone - if I get too much input from others too early in the process, I get confused and drown in other people’s opinions. Also, this is the best part of writing for me: the breakthrough that comes from grappling with an idea until I can explain it clearly. I write to help people. But to do that, I need readers.
Opening the door to feedback
I was reminded of Stephen King’s advice to “Write with the door closed, rewrite with the door open.”
I’m thankful my door was closed when I collapsed on the floor in a tearful tantrum after my computer mouse died. A toddler would have been proud of the depths of despair triggered by a failing battery. And I am beyond grateful to my early readers who gave invaluable feedback and encouragement.
“Write with the door closed, rewrite with the door open. Your stuff starts out being just for you, in other words, but then it goes out. Once you know what the story is and get it right - as right as you can, anyway - it belongs to anyone who wants to read it. Or criticise it.”
- Stephen King
But feedback isn’t always easy to hear. As King suggests, it often involves criticism and if we get it too soon, it can completely derail our writing. He says you have to know the story first, and he’s right. I need to know what I think before I ask for feedback, otherwise, I can’t tell if it’s helpful. If I’m not careful, I end up feeling resentful of the feedback or despairing of my own abilities as a writer.
Actor Bradley Whitford of The West Wing and The Handmaid’s Tale1 described how he reacts to feedback from directors: “If I’m honest, anytime any director has ever said anything to me, I go through three silent beats: Fuck you. I suck. OK, what?”2 Translation without the cursing: we blame the person giving feedback, we blame ourselves, or we can get to work fixing the issue.
As Whitford shows, our first reaction to feedback is often emotional before it becomes useful. Those emotions lead us stuck on either of the first two positions (yep, more opportunities for blocks).
Better to get to ‘OK, what?’ To sit with the question of what to do next and figure out the rewrites. Of course, we can reject it - not all feedback helps. But if we have spent enough time with our ideas, we’ll be in a better position to know what’s valuable.
Good feedback depends on timing and trust: ask for it when you’re ready to listen, and from people who care about helping your work.
As with every stage of writing, there will be moments of breakthroughs and of blocks. The trick is knowing when to open the door and when to keep it closed. When you’re still figuring out what you want to say, give yourself the privacy to think and explore. When your ideas have taken shape you can open the door to invite in readers.
Grateful to have thoughtful trusted first readers who helped me figure of the ‘OK, What?’ of my article. Shout out to my writing group, to Liz Flanagan and of course Chris Smith.
Keep writing, Bec
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If you’d like to read more about different models for the creative process, check out:
In case you missed last week’s post on friction and flow: why the hard parts of writing don’t mean you’re doing it wrong (in fact, they don’t mean anything at all).
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Whitford’s role in these iconic series seems to chart our recent political trajectory.
I first heard a version of this feedback cycle on Jenn Romolini’s brilliant podcast Extended Scenes. That lead me on a very fun and sweary Google research hole looking for references. You can listen to her original episode which features some great advice on editing and publishing Straight talk about the book business — with editor Kate Napolitano!
Bradley Whitford appeared on episode 909 of WTF with Marc Maron.
There’s a long read in The Financial Times by Esther Bintliff Positive feedback: the science of criticism that actually works.
Originally in The Financial Times but published free on his website is Tim Harford Do you want the good feedback, or the bad feedback?
I love that Stephen King quote. I'm lucky in that our writing group has become a safe space for sharing our work, whatever stage we're at. It helps us to get used to putting our work out there and hearing how it lands with others.
I recently got some oral feedback on a piece of writing that I did for a creative writing course. I decided to only write down the positive stuff, of course I remember the less positive stuff but somehow not writing it down gives it less power. Also I can reread the positive!