Jul 18Liked by Bec Evans, Chris Smith, Breakthroughs & Blocks
I’m so sorry for your loss! This post is beautifully written, and not only because of the relatable experiences shared, but also for the glimpse you offer of what Peggy brought in your life ❤️ I’ve never had a dog and still totally feel the heartache. Wish you all the best!
Jul 18Liked by Bec Evans, Chris Smith, Breakthroughs & Blocks
Aw, sweet Peggy! 💔 Pets are so embedded in our routines, I know it must be so tough adjusting to the days without her. So glad the morning/afternoon Zoom sessions have been helping a bit—it’s been great to have you taking part!
Thank you Mason 💞 and for running worm school. When you do something to help yourself write and put it into the world, it helps others, in more ways than you can ever imagine. Here's to dogs and writing and routines and rituals.
Jul 18Liked by Bec Evans, Chris Smith, Breakthroughs & Blocks
Not just dogs but any friend with four legs. I remember us talking about Peggy as we have a pony called Peggy at the stables where I help out. Really sad that she has gone. Recently we lost a very treasured friend and the space he filled is still somehow filled with his presence.
Jul 18Liked by Bec Evans, Chris Smith, Breakthroughs & Blocks
I remember you’d been preparing for Peggy to pass, but no matter how much one expects it, it’s really hard. I’m so sorry to hear the news.
My last dog died many, many years ago. I was expecting it, but it took me a month to recover. Mourning wrecks one’s routine. It sounds like you’re coming out of acute grief, grief over Peggy’s passing and the morning routine you shared. It’s an adjustment! The last time I loved getting up in the morning was as a kid when we were at the cottage, canoeing on the lake, just me and the Loons. These days I find reading a novel first thing with iced coffee, preferably outside, sets my day right. I’m getting a new computer, which I’m hoping will help my writing routine. My current one makes writing frustrating with its continual and erratic stalls.
It is an adjustment - and quite a big one. That sounds a great way to start your day and kick start a writing routine. Associating it with a pleasant experience is a great idea. Good luck with the new computer :)
Jul 19Liked by Bec Evans, Chris Smith, Breakthroughs & Blocks
Thank you Chris! I’m already blown away by the new computer’s speed. I spent all day setting it up and installing my programs. I still have a little more set up to do with my displays, but today I’ll test it reviewing a chapter (I’m reading my novel The Soul’s Awakening for final time and fixing typos etc in Scrivener and DOC). The keyboard is so much easier to see.
Jul 18Liked by Bec Evans, Chris Smith, Breakthroughs & Blocks
So sorry for the loss of your beloved dog. You write so honestly about the sadness and about the effect on your daily writing habit. You and Chris have been so helpful to those of us who struggle with writing routines. Now it’s our turn to help you refind yours. I know you will! Just allow yourself time and trust yourself. I can imagine you writing that to me!
Jul 18Liked by Bec Evans, Chris Smith, Breakthroughs & Blocks
Irreplaceable member of the family. You never brace yourself for the shortness of their lives and the power of the love they invest in you. Not surprised you are knocked sideways. my gorgeous spaniel - Charlie - died two years back. I know that grief is the price you pay for loving but whenever I think of the joy of having a dog at foot again it is horribly linked to the pain of the loss. Hence, we now own the front left paw only of a spaniel that lives with my son and his young family. Not the same but it will do!! I hope that you will eventually make a dog shaped space in your lives and will find another soul to inhabit that space that only dogs have access too in your heart.
Thank you Viv your words mean such a lot - yes, she has certainly left quite a hols in our lives and our routines. Have fun with your family's dog - or at least the front left paw! I think that's a lovely idea.
Our yellow lab (Bella) is 13 1/2 and we can’t ignore the fact that she is doing well as in still loving her walks & keeping an eye on us from her vantage point in the middle of the house, but is slowing down hugely. Andy gets up in the morning to walk her while I write and then I’ll go out for a walk sometimes with her but increasingly on my own because she can’t cope with two walks. Plus she can’t walk as fast or as far so our walks have changed too. I used to do so much writing with her on the moor, the thinking part of writing - all that space. It was only earlier this year that I realised that one reason my writing was a bit stuck was because my walks had shortened & I wasn’t exploring the moor as much because I didn’t always have my four legged companion with me. I’m learning to go out on my own…
It becomes an incrementally smaller and smaller world for them. You have Bella so make the most of it. She sounds amazing, Peggers was the pendulum to my day and I miss her hugely ❤️
This may not be the place, but my cat died last night. He was hit by a car. I am beyond devastated, having lost my first pet. So I now truly feel how you feel.
Jul 17Liked by Bec Evans, Chris Smith, Breakthroughs & Blocks
So sorry for your loss! What a lovely dog. I built an excellent pre-work morning writing habit during lockdown, which has fallen by the wayside in the last couple of years. I now try to make writing after work a habitual thing, but it's more of a struggle because I'm usually quite brain-dead by then (especially on the days I have to be in the office). It seems to be easier in the summer months with the extra daylight, at least!
Thanks Dipika - sustaining a regular routine is hard. Have you experimented with writing at different times? It's tough to write after work when you have given your energy all day to that.
Jul 17Liked by Bec Evans, Chris Smith, Breakthroughs & Blocks
Yes, sometimes I do better writing after eating in the evenings... but only if I haven't eaten so much that I'm sleepy! (Quite difficult what with being married to an excellent cook). I can at least write at the weekends, but I try to do some during the week to keep me in touch with my WIP.
Jul 17Liked by Bec Evans, Chris Smith, Breakthroughs & Blocks
My heart aches for you. I am so sorry for your loss; she was a gorgeous animal!!! I feel pets become our children. If I didn’t have my sweet Bentley, I would be lost, as well as my routine would be in shambles. I have been in the hospital much since January, but he made sure I got back on track now. I can always count on my buddy. Know that will remember you both in my prayers! ❤️
Ah thank you so much that means a lot - yes, as I said to A.M. she's left quite a hole in our lives. I still check to see if I have a poo bag in my back pocket every time I leave the house! Bless Bentley and yourself - take care :)
Jul 17Liked by Bec Evans, Chris Smith, Breakthroughs & Blocks
My deep, deep condolences. Our current dog, Mavis, turns 12 next month, and she is not an early riser. But my husband and I still miss Faith, our first: the 6 a.m. alarm clock who would not be denied. Please be very kind to yourself as you reshape your routine. It is a huge loss--of a creature, a set of habits, and a version of yourself.
Thanks Martha - yes it's tough but time is easing things. It will take a while I think but we will get there. Our very best wishes to your family and to Mavis (love the name!)
Jul 22Liked by Chris Smith, Breakthroughs & Blocks
I am so sorry to hear about your loss of someone loved you unconditionally for so long. We lost our cat some years ago and I still "hear" him coming to greet me, and long for his superior organising skills (proper bedtime and rising time for each of us, who to nag for meals and who to wait out...).
For me, grief is about brains. (Of course.) When we are fully engaged with another being over an extended period of time -- sharing activities, experiences, emotional resonances -- our brain wraps itself around and incorporates that person -- until they have literally become part of how our brain functions. They aren't just in our world interacting with us -- they become part of how our brain works, the very networks of brain connections and responses that make us -- well -- Us.
When they suddenly aren’t there and our brain has to adjust around that absence — well, of course that’s “painful”. Like a drug leaving our system on its own without preparation, all the networks that incorporated them have a "gap" where expectations are not met, where the "stimulus" for our "response" is missing. Like the phantom pain of a missing limb that the brain hasn't quite accepted as "gone" yet, we have the emotional pain of our "phantom relationship".
More than "just" a habit re-build, I think you are going through a painful brain re-structuring, a disentangling of "Peggy"-brain networks from your other daily networks. Give yourself time, experiment, and see what connections help you move through the loss of the connections you loved. All of which it sounds like you're doing, of course.
Thanks Karen - great points. I'm fascinated by the idea of grief being like a drug leaving our system without preparation. It will take time. Virtual hug accepted :)
Jul 20Liked by Chris Smith, Breakthroughs & Blocks
I’ve been putting off reading this. Felt as if it might be a little too close to home after losing our dog (albeit nine months ago now). All the wonderful ways in which our routines - and physical spaces - are filled by these glorious companions, feels like a damnable hell of sorts when they no longer occupy them. I’m glad you’re (undoubtedly gingerly) moving forwards in a new, unexplored reality, Bec. Don’t give up going out for those early morning interactions though, I’ve learnt people are the best inspiration ❤️
I’m so sorry for your loss! This post is beautifully written, and not only because of the relatable experiences shared, but also for the glimpse you offer of what Peggy brought in your life ❤️ I’ve never had a dog and still totally feel the heartache. Wish you all the best!
Thanks Rye - much appreciated. She was a fabulous beast!!
Aw, sweet Peggy! 💔 Pets are so embedded in our routines, I know it must be so tough adjusting to the days without her. So glad the morning/afternoon Zoom sessions have been helping a bit—it’s been great to have you taking part!
Thank you Mason 💞 and for running worm school. When you do something to help yourself write and put it into the world, it helps others, in more ways than you can ever imagine. Here's to dogs and writing and routines and rituals.
Not just dogs but any friend with four legs. I remember us talking about Peggy as we have a pony called Peggy at the stables where I help out. Really sad that she has gone. Recently we lost a very treasured friend and the space he filled is still somehow filled with his presence.
Thank you Rani - here's to all our four-legged companions in writing and in life.
I remember you’d been preparing for Peggy to pass, but no matter how much one expects it, it’s really hard. I’m so sorry to hear the news.
My last dog died many, many years ago. I was expecting it, but it took me a month to recover. Mourning wrecks one’s routine. It sounds like you’re coming out of acute grief, grief over Peggy’s passing and the morning routine you shared. It’s an adjustment! The last time I loved getting up in the morning was as a kid when we were at the cottage, canoeing on the lake, just me and the Loons. These days I find reading a novel first thing with iced coffee, preferably outside, sets my day right. I’m getting a new computer, which I’m hoping will help my writing routine. My current one makes writing frustrating with its continual and erratic stalls.
It is an adjustment - and quite a big one. That sounds a great way to start your day and kick start a writing routine. Associating it with a pleasant experience is a great idea. Good luck with the new computer :)
Thank you Chris! I’m already blown away by the new computer’s speed. I spent all day setting it up and installing my programs. I still have a little more set up to do with my displays, but today I’ll test it reviewing a chapter (I’m reading my novel The Soul’s Awakening for final time and fixing typos etc in Scrivener and DOC). The keyboard is so much easier to see.
So sorry for the loss of your beloved dog. You write so honestly about the sadness and about the effect on your daily writing habit. You and Chris have been so helpful to those of us who struggle with writing routines. Now it’s our turn to help you refind yours. I know you will! Just allow yourself time and trust yourself. I can imagine you writing that to me!
Thank you Emma - that means a lot 💞
Irreplaceable member of the family. You never brace yourself for the shortness of their lives and the power of the love they invest in you. Not surprised you are knocked sideways. my gorgeous spaniel - Charlie - died two years back. I know that grief is the price you pay for loving but whenever I think of the joy of having a dog at foot again it is horribly linked to the pain of the loss. Hence, we now own the front left paw only of a spaniel that lives with my son and his young family. Not the same but it will do!! I hope that you will eventually make a dog shaped space in your lives and will find another soul to inhabit that space that only dogs have access too in your heart.
Thank you Viv your words mean such a lot - yes, she has certainly left quite a hols in our lives and our routines. Have fun with your family's dog - or at least the front left paw! I think that's a lovely idea.
Our yellow lab (Bella) is 13 1/2 and we can’t ignore the fact that she is doing well as in still loving her walks & keeping an eye on us from her vantage point in the middle of the house, but is slowing down hugely. Andy gets up in the morning to walk her while I write and then I’ll go out for a walk sometimes with her but increasingly on my own because she can’t cope with two walks. Plus she can’t walk as fast or as far so our walks have changed too. I used to do so much writing with her on the moor, the thinking part of writing - all that space. It was only earlier this year that I realised that one reason my writing was a bit stuck was because my walks had shortened & I wasn’t exploring the moor as much because I didn’t always have my four legged companion with me. I’m learning to go out on my own…
It becomes an incrementally smaller and smaller world for them. You have Bella so make the most of it. She sounds amazing, Peggers was the pendulum to my day and I miss her hugely ❤️
Sorry for your loss x
This may not be the place, but my cat died last night. He was hit by a car. I am beyond devastated, having lost my first pet. So I now truly feel how you feel.
Oh Claire, I am so sorry to hear that. Just devastating. I am sending love and support as you deal with this tragic loss.
Thank you. I hope that you'll be feeling better soon x
I am so sorry about Peggy! My dog is the only reason I go for walks in the lovely forest at the end of my street. Grateful for this reminder!
Thank you - yes she's left quite a hole :) Thanks for your message.
So sorry for your loss! What a lovely dog. I built an excellent pre-work morning writing habit during lockdown, which has fallen by the wayside in the last couple of years. I now try to make writing after work a habitual thing, but it's more of a struggle because I'm usually quite brain-dead by then (especially on the days I have to be in the office). It seems to be easier in the summer months with the extra daylight, at least!
Thanks Dipika - sustaining a regular routine is hard. Have you experimented with writing at different times? It's tough to write after work when you have given your energy all day to that.
Yes, sometimes I do better writing after eating in the evenings... but only if I haven't eaten so much that I'm sleepy! (Quite difficult what with being married to an excellent cook). I can at least write at the weekends, but I try to do some during the week to keep me in touch with my WIP.
My heart aches for you. I am so sorry for your loss; she was a gorgeous animal!!! I feel pets become our children. If I didn’t have my sweet Bentley, I would be lost, as well as my routine would be in shambles. I have been in the hospital much since January, but he made sure I got back on track now. I can always count on my buddy. Know that will remember you both in my prayers! ❤️
Ah thank you so much that means a lot - yes, as I said to A.M. she's left quite a hole in our lives. I still check to see if I have a poo bag in my back pocket every time I leave the house! Bless Bentley and yourself - take care :)
My deep, deep condolences. Our current dog, Mavis, turns 12 next month, and she is not an early riser. But my husband and I still miss Faith, our first: the 6 a.m. alarm clock who would not be denied. Please be very kind to yourself as you reshape your routine. It is a huge loss--of a creature, a set of habits, and a version of yourself.
Thanks Martha - yes it's tough but time is easing things. It will take a while I think but we will get there. Our very best wishes to your family and to Mavis (love the name!)
I am so sorry to hear about your loss of someone loved you unconditionally for so long. We lost our cat some years ago and I still "hear" him coming to greet me, and long for his superior organising skills (proper bedtime and rising time for each of us, who to nag for meals and who to wait out...).
For me, grief is about brains. (Of course.) When we are fully engaged with another being over an extended period of time -- sharing activities, experiences, emotional resonances -- our brain wraps itself around and incorporates that person -- until they have literally become part of how our brain functions. They aren't just in our world interacting with us -- they become part of how our brain works, the very networks of brain connections and responses that make us -- well -- Us.
When they suddenly aren’t there and our brain has to adjust around that absence — well, of course that’s “painful”. Like a drug leaving our system on its own without preparation, all the networks that incorporated them have a "gap" where expectations are not met, where the "stimulus" for our "response" is missing. Like the phantom pain of a missing limb that the brain hasn't quite accepted as "gone" yet, we have the emotional pain of our "phantom relationship".
More than "just" a habit re-build, I think you are going through a painful brain re-structuring, a disentangling of "Peggy"-brain networks from your other daily networks. Give yourself time, experiment, and see what connections help you move through the loss of the connections you loved. All of which it sounds like you're doing, of course.
May I offer an virtual hug?
Thanks Karen - great points. I'm fascinated by the idea of grief being like a drug leaving our system without preparation. It will take time. Virtual hug accepted :)
I’ve been putting off reading this. Felt as if it might be a little too close to home after losing our dog (albeit nine months ago now). All the wonderful ways in which our routines - and physical spaces - are filled by these glorious companions, feels like a damnable hell of sorts when they no longer occupy them. I’m glad you’re (undoubtedly gingerly) moving forwards in a new, unexplored reality, Bec. Don’t give up going out for those early morning interactions though, I’ve learnt people are the best inspiration ❤️
Thanks Annette :)