Chris admits to being a friendless curmudgeon & explains what helps him get the writing done. Find out whether you respond to external or internal expectations & take Gretchen Rubin's quiz.
I like this Chris and I recognise both you and me in your description of yourself - although I'd never use the word curmudgeon for you but I do see what you're saying! Maybe that's why (I think) we've worked well together in the past. I've thought a lot in the past about intrinsic and extrinsic motivation which I suppose is broadly similar - and I know I am very much intrinsically motivated - which is great in a work context when i have that motivation - less so when I don't (and others have expectations of me, to do something which isn't motivating me). But then I'd say the creativity in my writing comes from tapping into the intrinsic, what matters to me etc - and I think you can connect with people through your writing when other people spot something that matters to them too in what you write.
Curmudgeons unite! Thanks Rob good to hear from you. I'd say you're one of the most intrinsically motivated people I've ever met. Not sure I know anyone else with such a strong moral compass - although I can't imagine that's always easy! I think this does come through in your writing too. Meant to say that I'm reading the Rob Hopkins book you recommended and it's great. Take care.
I was introduced to Rubin’s four tendencies when the book first came out and it unlocked so much of my understanding of why I do (or don’t do!) so many things! I’m a rebel which is painfully annoying at times, but somehow I’ve managed to accomplish a few things 🤣
Wow - rebels are pretty rare! Pleased it's useful Kristine. When we do our IRL workshops and talk about the 4 tendencies, we first explain the idea and ask people to put their hands up to say what tendency they identify with. Rebels are normally a, very resistant to putting their hands up and b, usually sat at the back of the room. 🤣 😎
I’ve often said that if it were a spectrum I’d be on my way to questioner, but still more solidly on the side of rebel. In some ways, I think it’s part of me flexing agency in my adult life after *having* to be more on the obliger/upholder side of things. I lived to please people.
As a rebel, I’ve had to learn (and relearn) to give myself space for a day or a week or perhaps two weeks to *break* from my own expectations that are necessary to set to get anything done, really. If I go too long, I can lose my way/vision.
Yep I can relate to that. As I mentioned in the piece I can very easily get stuck if things don't make sense to me. Not only does this mean I am a total pain to live with it also means I get rather lost in my own head. Things can get very theoretical and I can't see a way out. Stepping away and having a break from myself has become an important part of my process. Lots of entrepreneurs are rebels as their tendency enables them to see things differently to others.
Example: *You must meet X deadline.*
Obliger meets deadline without question and neglects all their own goals
Upholder meets external deadline and their own goals and gets burned out
Questioner asks why the deadline has to be that date
Rebel asks why they need a deadline in the first place - let's do something different
Kristine, I'm so glad to read this. As a fellow rebel, I've struggled so much! I accomplished a lot, then I stopped caring, and haven't done very much at all in years. I do a lot of questioning as well, but very firmly in the rebel side of "You can't make me, and neither can I." It's a drag.
I understand this entirely! I find that flexibility and open-ended goals are my surest bet for getting anything done. Like... I’ll go into a new year with some ideas of what I might like to do or get done, because though I’m a rebel I’m also a planner (have to be by necessity!) but when it comes down to when they happen, I look at the year by quarters instead of by month. I don’t want to be boxed in.
And then sometimes the things just don’t happen and that’s okay, too. Because sometimes I’ll do what I want when I want and it’s still a productive or big thing (just usually spontaneous) I hadn’t even foreseen I might like to accomplish. I find it eventually evens out!
I like this Chris and I recognise both you and me in your description of yourself - although I'd never use the word curmudgeon for you but I do see what you're saying! Maybe that's why (I think) we've worked well together in the past. I've thought a lot in the past about intrinsic and extrinsic motivation which I suppose is broadly similar - and I know I am very much intrinsically motivated - which is great in a work context when i have that motivation - less so when I don't (and others have expectations of me, to do something which isn't motivating me). But then I'd say the creativity in my writing comes from tapping into the intrinsic, what matters to me etc - and I think you can connect with people through your writing when other people spot something that matters to them too in what you write.
Curmudgeons unite! Thanks Rob good to hear from you. I'd say you're one of the most intrinsically motivated people I've ever met. Not sure I know anyone else with such a strong moral compass - although I can't imagine that's always easy! I think this does come through in your writing too. Meant to say that I'm reading the Rob Hopkins book you recommended and it's great. Take care.
I was introduced to Rubin’s four tendencies when the book first came out and it unlocked so much of my understanding of why I do (or don’t do!) so many things! I’m a rebel which is painfully annoying at times, but somehow I’ve managed to accomplish a few things 🤣
Wow - rebels are pretty rare! Pleased it's useful Kristine. When we do our IRL workshops and talk about the 4 tendencies, we first explain the idea and ask people to put their hands up to say what tendency they identify with. Rebels are normally a, very resistant to putting their hands up and b, usually sat at the back of the room. 🤣 😎
I’ve often said that if it were a spectrum I’d be on my way to questioner, but still more solidly on the side of rebel. In some ways, I think it’s part of me flexing agency in my adult life after *having* to be more on the obliger/upholder side of things. I lived to please people.
As a rebel, I’ve had to learn (and relearn) to give myself space for a day or a week or perhaps two weeks to *break* from my own expectations that are necessary to set to get anything done, really. If I go too long, I can lose my way/vision.
Yep I can relate to that. As I mentioned in the piece I can very easily get stuck if things don't make sense to me. Not only does this mean I am a total pain to live with it also means I get rather lost in my own head. Things can get very theoretical and I can't see a way out. Stepping away and having a break from myself has become an important part of my process. Lots of entrepreneurs are rebels as their tendency enables them to see things differently to others.
Example: *You must meet X deadline.*
Obliger meets deadline without question and neglects all their own goals
Upholder meets external deadline and their own goals and gets burned out
Questioner asks why the deadline has to be that date
Rebel asks why they need a deadline in the first place - let's do something different
And by “lived to please people” really means... I had to, to survive childhood.
Kristine, I'm so glad to read this. As a fellow rebel, I've struggled so much! I accomplished a lot, then I stopped caring, and haven't done very much at all in years. I do a lot of questioning as well, but very firmly in the rebel side of "You can't make me, and neither can I." It's a drag.
I understand this entirely! I find that flexibility and open-ended goals are my surest bet for getting anything done. Like... I’ll go into a new year with some ideas of what I might like to do or get done, because though I’m a rebel I’m also a planner (have to be by necessity!) but when it comes down to when they happen, I look at the year by quarters instead of by month. I don’t want to be boxed in.
And then sometimes the things just don’t happen and that’s okay, too. Because sometimes I’ll do what I want when I want and it’s still a productive or big thing (just usually spontaneous) I hadn’t even foreseen I might like to accomplish. I find it eventually evens out!