The influenza edition
Getting ill and in a funk, your advice on self compassion, and wise words from Maria Popova.
Hey there,
I had it all planned out. So, of course I got ill.
Struck down by flu, all I could do was cancel one appointment after another. A much longed-for writing retreat, coaching calls, running a workshop, supporting writers on our RESET course, writing this newsletter, and all my plans to work on the new book proposal and inch forward on the novel. Gone.
Obstacle thinking
We talk a lot about obstacle thinking. How identifying what will get in the way of your writing will help you to be more realistic about what you can achieve. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve counselled the need to accept life’s inevitable disruptions and be kind to yourself.
Easy to say, much harder to do as I lie shivering under my duvet in a fever of self pity.
I’ve emerged from my sick bed, but I’m still in a sulk about all that lost time and opportunity. When I get in a funk I find the best solution is to stop ruminating and turn my attention outwards to other people.
Tell me
How do you cope with setbacks? What’s your experience of dealing with upturned plans, and if you came to accept it what did you do? Were you able to find compassion for yourself? I’d really appreciate your advice and would love to hear. Pop a comment below. Or send some healing vibes by clicking the heart.
Normal service will be resumed next week - well that’s the plan!
Cheers, Bec
To read more on obstacle thinking check out: Does dreaming big work? and Conduct a writing pre-mortem.
Words of wisdom from Maria Popova ✨✨✨
“When a recent bout of illness sent me sulking with indignant disappointment at the ruin of long laid plans, I had to remind myself that we were never promised any of this; that it is hubris and self-importance and almost touching delusion to expect an indifferent cosmos to bend to our will, our wishes, and our plans; that meeting the universe on its own terms is the end of suffering.”
Maria Popova on Instagram
A reader sent me this wonderful quote from Katherine May in her book 'Wintering'. I'd love to share as it expresses perfectly what this is about.
"life is, by its very nature, uncontrollable...we should stop trying to finalise our comfort and security, and instead find a radical acceptance of the endless, unpredictable change that is the very essence of this life. Our suffering...comes from the fight we put up against this fundamental truth. In our relentlessly busy contemporary world, we are forever trying to defer the onset of winter. We don’t ever dare to feel its full bite, and we don’t dare to show the way that it ravages us. We must stop believing that these times in our lives are somehow silly, a failure of nerve, a lack of willpower. We must stop trying to ignore them or dispose of them. They are real, and they are asking something of us. We must learn to invite the winter in. We may never choose to winter, but we can choose how."
I would say this: being ill with something like the flu is like being drunk. You think you can think clearly, but you can't. I say just lie there in a cozy puddle of misery feeling sorry for yourself. Trust that sometime soon you will wake up with a whole new attitude. I'm not being sarcastic. And I do hope whatever you have is over sooner than later!